Wedding Funnies!

If wedding planning is becoming a bit of a serious business, sit back, pour a glass of something and enjoy our light-hearted comments on marriage. And if your groom or dad are getting stressed about the speeches or you're worried about jokes being too rude for your gran send them a link to the page too!

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: twice a week, we go to a nice restaurant, drink a little wine, eat some good food, and enjoy companionship.... she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Newcastle and mine is in Plymouth.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...I said, "Dust!"

You'll find lots more on the website of Paul Crawford, one of the leading wedding photographers in Belfast.